The Kubler-Ross model of grief was made as a clinician’s tool for understanding the process of how people dealt with the imminent death of themselves or a loved one.. Since its introduction in 1969, its scope has been widened to deal with just about any tragically poignant transition in a person’s life. As divorce can feel like the death of a marriage, this psychological model has been applied to these circumstances.
While not always the case, Doctor Kubler-Ross found that depression was most commonly one of the last stages in the process of grieving. It can also be the easiest one to get stuck within, as depression occurs when another person is in such grief over what has happened that they feel they have little agency in changing their life for the better. What’s worse, they don’t see a reason why they should want to change anything, as they’re not sure how life can get better in light of what they lost.
The first thing to realize is that depression is perfectly natural. While you shouldn’t feel ashamed of seeking psychological help should you desire to, you also shouldn’t feel you need to just because you’re sad. Most therapists would agree that there would be a bigger problem if you were not at least a little down about something like this. In short: everything you’re feeling is completely natural. Even if you’re traditionally a very happy person, everyone gets depressed from time to time. Stop fighting it, and just let your grief take its natural course.
Are you reading this out of concern for a recently divorced friend, hoping to find a way to snap them out of it? That’s very nice of you, but chances are you’re wasting your time. If the divorce occurred years ago then that is obviously a different story. If they’re still within the first year of living alone, however, there is really nothing you can do about it but be for them if they need you.
If you are trying to alleviate your own sorrow, however, then the good news is that just looking for an answer is a good sign! If you’re actively trying to find a way to feel better, than your showing the first signs of taking ownership of your emotions again. That’s a great indicator that the doldrums are going to pass away from your life soon and that you’ll be able to move on to blue skies and sunshine before you know it.
In the meantime, do yourself a favor; don’t spend any of the major holidays alone, no matter what excuses you may have. It doesn’t matter if you don’t celebrate Christmas. It doesn’t matter if you had gastric bypass surgery, and have no reason to eat Thanksgiving dinner. Make sure you are at least around friends. The imagery and advertising of these seasons are going to get to anyone going through a divorce.
It may feel natural to retreat into yourself, and that’s okay in moderation. Just remember that your husband or wife wasn’t the only person who cared about you. There is probably a score of people who are concerned and are willing to bend over backward to take you out and show you a good time. At least once or twice a month, take them up on it!
Author Bio– Sunil Kumar is a part-time blogger and software developer. He loves to write about blogging, SEO, digital marketing, and social media. He is running a blog “ Blogging Hub “which is all about blogging.
